There are many ways that our lives were affected by infertility. Brian and I wanted more children so badly and it seemed so hard to wait and even harder once we started all the tests and medications and more tests because we weren't certain at all if more children would be possible. We both wanted 7 or 8 children and so we were pretty devastated. It became harder for me to take Elliott to story time at the library or to play at the Treehouse Museum since most other moms with kids Elliott's age also had a baby or were pregnant. I saw pregnant women everywhere and when a friend or family member announced a pregnancy, I would be over the moon happy for them, but also in tears at times because I wanted it too. Even shopping at Costco was depressing since I only had one child to sit in the grocery cart and Costco carts have room for two kids.
Right before Christmas, we went to Costco to go shopping. As we walked through the warehouse, I looked down at the cart was overcome with gratitude and happiness because we have been blessed with Trevor and now we can fill the cart!
Trevor is so much more than a body to fill a space, he has filled a space in my heart and I have learned so much about patience and faith and prayer in our wait for him. As we underwent tests and explored possibilities I was more scared than hopeful. I was terrified we couldn't have more children and that it would be too hard to bear! But then IVF was possible and it actually worked! Pregnancy was hard and I was miserable but filled with so much happiness and gratitude. Trevor is a dream come true and I am trying to cherish every moment we have with him. Every small milestone is a celebration for us and I will celebrate having two kids in my cart at Costco! I can't wait for more milestones!
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